Top of the world
by Wake Me Up When The World Ends
Summary: A fic where Rui looks back at what she did


This is another story/fic I wrote in study hall so if it sucks oh well but please review people please and I own nothing

"I wished I was smarter I wished I was stronger I wished I loved Jesus the way that my wife does I wish it had been easier instead of any longer I wished I could have stood where you would have been proud but that won't happen now that won't happen now"

I've always thought about what I've done and how it's all my fault. Why did they have me drop that baby of the island? Why me? I never wanted to do it yet I did. Now they're all gone Hina, Yukina and that child, the imeko the one I was responsible for destroying. What am I doing sitting here alone in this room filling the floor with icey pearls. The pearls symbolizing the tears of sadness an ice apparition can never shed.

"There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard disappearing everyday without so much as a word somehow I think I broke the wings off a little song bird she's never gonna fly to the top of the world right now top of the world"

This whole life I've lived could it be it's just a fake. Were we ice apparitions really cured when Hina gave birth to that child the boy. Why do I even want to care for him? He is part of the reason my best friend killed herself. But in the elder's minds he was the only reason, the truth is they were as much a part of it as he was probably more. I really shouldn't be so cruel towards them after all they just wanted what they thought was best for the ice apparition tribe, they didn't want us to face the same trouble other demons face. If we faced the same troubles Hina and that child would still be here and Yukina she would not have left. I believe the biggest mistake we as ice apparitions ever made was listening to the elders, if I had listened to Hina I could have saved her before it was too late.

"I don't have to answer any of these questions don't have no god to teach me no lessons I come home in the evening sit in my chair one night they called me for supper but I never got up I stayed there in my chair"

Everyone questions me of how strange I have become after Hina died and Yukina disappeared, the truth is they were all I had left now what am I supposed to do. I don't want a child of my own I'd most likely drive her away. My home is my sanctuary I can cry all I want and never be seen by anyone. I can finally live in peace isolated from everyone. This life is what I deserve after I betrayed my best friend and her family she had so long wanted to have.

"There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard disappearing everyday without so much as a word somehow I think I broke the wings off a little song bird she's never gonna fly to the top of the world right now top of the world"

So many people would have forgotten and moved on most people would not do what I do everyday. I rip my heart open and let it bleed its icey blood remembering the worst time of my life over and over again till I feel like I can't take the pain anymore. Then I go out and visit Hina's grave a solemn place no one goes anymore and apologize everyday for the things that I've done. I know she would have forgiven me by now but still I cannot bring myself to stop. To stop apologizing for the wretched things I've done.

"I wished I'd a known you wished I'd shown you all the things I was on the inside I'd pretend to be sleeping when you come in, in the morning I whisper goodbye go to work in the rain I don't know why, I don't know why"

If the snow here one day turned to rain it would be a shock to everyone bit it would be bliss to me. Finally something around that doesn't cry frozen tears or have a frozen heart, someone to talk to. There are times I wished I had known that boy the imeko. I'm sure he like his sister and mother would be different. All the people around here are carbon copies of the elders they don't even seem to have a shred of kindness. When they all come to see me congratulate me still after all these years for freeing them of the dreaded imeko. I hide and pretend that I'm not home, they shouldn't be congratulating me they should be insulting me.

"'cause everyone's singing we just wan to be heard disappearing everyday without so much as a word somehow wanna grab hold of that little song bird take her for a ride to the top of the world right now"

Everyday I wonder is he still alive if he is will he ever find us in this place so we can I all die. He deserves vengeance he of all people does. When he comes to kill us he should kill me first. So many people say vengeance is a poison not meant to be used but I believe differently, when one deserves vengeance they should inflict it. I hope one day he will come to kill us all getting the vengeance he rightfully deserves.

"To the top of the world to the top of the world the top of the world to the top of the world to the top of the world to the top of the world to the top of the world to the top of the world"

Just review flames are accepted yes I can actually use them for something useful


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